The track racing season at Marymoor concluded last friday night with a fourth place in the state madison championships for Matt Herz and me, and a 12th overall in the Cat 1/2 season standings.  Considering the mediocrity of my season, I was pleased. 

Normally I’d just suggest “well, there’s always next year.”  For that last six seasons that would have been true, but the way things are shaping up for 2010, likely not.  It’s probably a good thing on multiple levels.  I’ve been frustrated all season about my inability to focus on training, and due to life, perhaps the inappropriateness of focusing on training.  If I’ve learned and loved one thing about cycling it’s that you get out of it exactly what you put in.  It’s so honest.  On the other hand, when you’re not training well and resting well, you’re not going to fool anyone.

While I hope to get back into racing when life allows, I know deep-down that any time you suspend an activity the chances are reduced that you’ll pick it back up.  I know I’ll keep riding, that much is a given, but if I never pin on numbers again, I’ll be okay.  Probably disappointed, but okay.

Next weekend is my 10 year high school reunion, and while I won’t be there, if you’d told an 18 year old me that within 10 years of graduating I’d loose 100lbs, start racing, upgrade to Cat 2 on the track, qualify for the national championships four times, attend nats once, win or place in a bunch of fun races and come home with some hardware and money, I’d never have believed you.  For a fatty who thought baseball was too much work, and who couldn’t follow his dad on his bike without nausea, it’s incredible. 

Unfortunately the nature of competition is to always want to improve and advance, and this diminishes the importance of whatever you’ve achieved because once you reach a summit and plateau it opens your eyes to the next realm to attain.  Racing with professionals and olympians is cool for a while, but then you want to be a professional or ride like one and ability, time, or resources eventually conspire put a clamp on your desires.  This has brought me into a love/hate relationship with racing that signals a break, mentally if nothing else, is needed.

The last couple of years has been a battle with the impression of busyness.  The house projects crop up, and the cars break down.  The desire to be an active participant in the lives of the people around you creates tension.  So it’s time to support Leah for a change, and spend more time with friends, and not care so much that I missed a training ride, or be okay with spending a summer friday night somewhere other than the velodrome.

I don’t expect anything to replace the feeling of winning a sprint and putting your hands in the air, the total depletion of a pursuit, or the mystery of standing around for results at a time trial.  It’s hard to match the smugness of doing the extra interval in bad weather, and thinking it will be the key to a successful spring. 

While I’m giving up those post race debriefing sessions with teammates, I will be gaining flexibility to ride where, when, and for how long I want to.  I won’t feel guilty saying no in the rain.  Maybe a significant percentage of my rides will be while running errands.  Maybe they’ll be to the park.  Maybe someday tricycles will be involved.  We’ll see. 

It’s been a great ride so far.  There’s no reason to believe it won’t get even better.