The big local cycling news has been Kenny Williams’ post positive admission of DHEA use in preparation for the Masters National Championships.  I’m pretty much past that part of the story.  I get along fine with Kenny, and I hope he reforms and comes back post suspension to race clean and strong again.  He made a huge, huge mistake that will follow him forever, and he’ll have to live with that, but per our rules, if he serves his time, he gets a second chance.

The reaction on a local and national level is what has been truly disturbing.  A shocking number of people including multiple USA Cycling officials, have publicly commented in support of Williams and have made comments trivializing his offense, vouched for his character and integrity and insinuated since the product he allegedly used isn’t effective it doesn’t really matter.

I don’t know if anyone is paying attention, but cycling has a major credibility issue due to doping.  It’s a big deal.  One of the most frequent questions cyclists field from non-cyclists is that of drug use within the sport.  However, the reaction to this incident has taught me many things.  Cyclists aren’t all on the same page when it comes to the seriousness of doping within sports.  People are suckers for post facto admissions.  People are much, much, much more likely to give the benefit of the doubt to someone they know.  People aren’t really familiar with the meanings of “honor”, “character” and “ethics”.  People think that being a friend is accepting whatever your “friend” does.  People think that they know people much better than they actually do.  Masters racers and local cycling fans care far less then young local racers.

These people didn’t give Basso the benefit of the doubt when assuming his statements were true, and that he’d only tried to dope once.  Americans didn’t care that Tyler Hamilton’s second offense was only for DHEA.  But now, if I hear one more comment about how “we all make mistakes”, “life is in shades of gray”, “we all go through desperate times” I’m going to throw up on my keyboard.  People will talk shit about Armstrong all the time, but when one of their buddies or coaches gets caught, it’s all time to sing kumbaya.

While we all make mistakes, there’s no part of that which makes cheating okay.  It doesn’t allow us to minimize anything.  And furthermore, when we make big mistakes, it does show our character.  It shows that we have ugliness inside.  We can accept offenders back into our communities, we can forgive, but we have to be informed by what has taken place.

For a decade, Kenny has been our most prominent cyclist.  He’s the guy the kids and young cyclists want to be like.  His cheating is important.  If we can’t all agree that doping is a big deal, the sport is screwed, and history will repeat time and time again.

The track racing season at Marymoor concluded last friday night with a fourth place in the state madison championships for Matt Herz and me, and a 12th overall in the Cat 1/2 season standings.  Considering the mediocrity of my season, I was pleased. 

Normally I’d just suggest “well, there’s always next year.”  For that last six seasons that would have been true, but the way things are shaping up for 2010, likely not.  It’s probably a good thing on multiple levels.  I’ve been frustrated all season about my inability to focus on training, and due to life, perhaps the inappropriateness of focusing on training.  If I’ve learned and loved one thing about cycling it’s that you get out of it exactly what you put in.  It’s so honest.  On the other hand, when you’re not training well and resting well, you’re not going to fool anyone.

While I hope to get back into racing when life allows, I know deep-down that any time you suspend an activity the chances are reduced that you’ll pick it back up.  I know I’ll keep riding, that much is a given, but if I never pin on numbers again, I’ll be okay.  Probably disappointed, but okay.

Next weekend is my 10 year high school reunion, and while I won’t be there, if you’d told an 18 year old me that within 10 years of graduating I’d loose 100lbs, start racing, upgrade to Cat 2 on the track, qualify for the national championships four times, attend nats once, win or place in a bunch of fun races and come home with some hardware and money, I’d never have believed you.  For a fatty who thought baseball was too much work, and who couldn’t follow his dad on his bike without nausea, it’s incredible. 

Unfortunately the nature of competition is to always want to improve and advance, and this diminishes the importance of whatever you’ve achieved because once you reach a summit and plateau it opens your eyes to the next realm to attain.  Racing with professionals and olympians is cool for a while, but then you want to be a professional or ride like one and ability, time, or resources eventually conspire put a clamp on your desires.  This has brought me into a love/hate relationship with racing that signals a break, mentally if nothing else, is needed.

The last couple of years has been a battle with the impression of busyness.  The house projects crop up, and the cars break down.  The desire to be an active participant in the lives of the people around you creates tension.  So it’s time to support Leah for a change, and spend more time with friends, and not care so much that I missed a training ride, or be okay with spending a summer friday night somewhere other than the velodrome.

I don’t expect anything to replace the feeling of winning a sprint and putting your hands in the air, the total depletion of a pursuit, or the mystery of standing around for results at a time trial.  It’s hard to match the smugness of doing the extra interval in bad weather, and thinking it will be the key to a successful spring. 

While I’m giving up those post race debriefing sessions with teammates, I will be gaining flexibility to ride where, when, and for how long I want to.  I won’t feel guilty saying no in the rain.  Maybe a significant percentage of my rides will be while running errands.  Maybe they’ll be to the park.  Maybe someday tricycles will be involved.  We’ll see. 

It’s been a great ride so far.  There’s no reason to believe it won’t get even better.

the first day AFTER a month of dry weather?

the day I ride my bike to work.

seriously?

still drying out.